between my Philosophy tutorial and my Philosophy lecture on Wednesdays.
Usually, this group of girls and I go out for coffee at this one Tim Hortons but, for some reason, we all decided to go our separate ways and then meet up again so we could all sit together during the lecture.
Yeah, we’re THAT group. That group that always sits together and swoons over how delicious the prof is.
Okay, scratch that. We don’t actually swoon.
Okay, so we do.
Not even because he’s particularly good-looking or whatever, but just because he once said ‘OKAY’ 52 times in one one-hour lecture.
What a great man.
While some of the girls went to the libraries and some probably went back to residence, I decided to go to the Northrop Frye building and catch up on some of my readings. The great thing about NF is that there’s this delightful little area with ridiculously comfortable couches and, if you happen to come at the right time, you can actually get a spot on one of them. AND IT JUST SO HAPPENED THAT I CAME AT PRECISELY THE RIGHT TIME.
There was a full couch. JUST FOR ME.
I dove onto that couch. It was magical.
So after I spread out all my things on the table in front of me and got comfortable, I began to do my readings.
Then, this other girl came and sat next to me, on the other end of the couch.
Fine. I didn’t have the couch to myself anymore, but I didn’t mind sharing. I’m considerate that way. So I continued my readings.
That is when a sexy man moseyed on in to the couch area and started looking for somewhere to sit. BUT ALL OF THE COUCHES AND CHAIRS WHERE BEING OCCUPIED. There was only one spot left.
The spot between me and this girl.
He took the spot. He then proceeded to pull out a crossword puzzle and start filling in the little white squares.
And then I finished my readings and, since I didn’t have anything better to do, I just sat there playing around with my phone. Which sucks, by the way. My phone is just the worst phone ever.
THEN, THE BEST THING EVER HAPPENED.
This random Indian girl decided that it would be a great idea to come over to our couch and say:
RIG: EXCUSE ME.
The three of us on the couch looked up.
… excuse her what?
We then realized that she wanted to sit down.
So the sexy man proceeded to squish his sexy body against mine to make room for the random Indian girl.
The Indian girl sat down.
The girl at the other end of the couch got up and left because she was clearly uncomfortable.
The Indian girl did not move.
So the sexy man stayed squished against me.
Then, the Indian girl decided it would be a good idea to turn to the sexy man and say:
Sexy Man: I’m sorry, what?
THEN, SHE SCREAMED:
RIG: YOU HAVE A REALLY NICE HAIRSTYLE, WHAT’S YOUR NAME?
Everyone in the couch area looked up in shock and stared at the guy’s hair. (It WAS a very nice hairstyle though…)
SM: Uhhhhhh… thanks, my name’s _______.
Then the Indian girl just got up and left. But she left all of her bags on the ground at the foot of the couch.
The sexy man shifted away from me, and then turned to me, shocked.:
SM: DID YOU JUST HEAR WHAT SHE ASKED ME?!
And I responded, ever so smoothly:
Me: … well, you DO have nice hair.
We then proceeded to talk for the next fifteen minutes.
Sexy men love me.
I don’t think the Indian girl ever did come back for her stuff.